I Don’t Know What to Say When I Pray

I’m the person people usually ask to pray, and I am honored, but sometimes I’m not. The interesting thing was that when I closed the door behind me and entered the secret place, the silence was deafening. 

The same remark people would make when they were asked to pray, “I don’t know what to say,” is what I thought when I was alone.

I was frustrated at the crickets because they were obviously mocking me. How is it that I pray when others are around, but when I am alone with God, I’m struggling to string words together?

The Holy Spirit Is Your Teacher

We must remember that we are not the ones who are awesome at praying, but the Holy Spirit who teaches us what to say. We have to become and remain students in the classroom of prayer. It’s not intuitive because, intuitively, we just ask for whatever we want, say what we have to say, and then jump up to start the day.

In Romans 8, Paul reminds us that, likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. “For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” (Romans 8:26-27)

Praying is not something we do on our own; God has made provision through His Spirit for us to go before the throne of grace. Ask Him to teach you as the disciples asked Jesus. Become the student who is bold enough to ask the teacher all the questions, stupid or not (I definitely was not that student).

The Scripture Is Your Textbook

If prayer is the classroom, then the Word is the textbook by which we learn to pray, and the Holy Spirit is the teacher.

The scriptures are the word of God, they are living and active (Hebrews 4:12). Many scriptures have changed the focus of my prayers from being shallow to being in alignment with the Holy Spirit.

For example, Matthew 13:13:
“This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand.“

From this parable of the Sower, I learned to pray for wisdom and understanding, and that the word of God will not fall on dry ground, but it will take root in my heart and produce fruit.

Another scripture is John 17:3, “And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent,” which taught me to pray to know the Father, that my studying of the word would go beyond reading to intimacy with Him.

Of course, there is always room to pray for our daily bread. But we need more room for spiritual things like a desire to know God, and to hate the things He hates and love the things He loves, which takes being in the scriptures and being led by the Holy Spirit.

Let the Holy Spirit teach you through the Word what to say. We always go to the model prayer in Matthew 6, which is good, but all of scripture is God breathed.

In the story of David, when Saul was hunting him, he refused to kill God’s anointed because he feared God and would not sin against Him. From that story, you can pray that, like David, you would not retaliate when someone is seeking to hurt you, and that your heart would be committed to God even in such a difficult situation.

Once you start, the Holy Spirit will help you along the way. No one is better at teaching you to pray than the Spirit of God. 

The Dreaded Silence

Also, don’t despise silence in prayer, but embrace being in the presence of God, Jesus, your Savior. It’s challenging for some of us because our minds tend to wander and can be chaotic. That’s me as well. Empty it on the pages of your prayer journal to refocus on Him.

Practice being still in His presence. You’re not planning, asking, wanting anything, just reverencing Him as God. Most of the time, I am not completely silent; I say, “thank you, Lord”.

These moments help to build your bond and trust in Him. They help you to see Him more clearly as God.

The Practice of Prayer Changes You

Prayer changes you, your heart, mind, your tumultuous emotions, your insecurities, your perspective, all of you. It is a lifetime conversation with your Creator and Savior. There are conversations we’ve had with people, strangers or loved ones, that have changed us. How much more would your conversations with God?

I’m not speaking as someone strong and consistent, but I am making progress, glory be to God. From the little that I have experienced, I’ll tell you that you cannot remain the same, abiding in the presence of the Lord.

To Conclude

No one is born knowing how to pray; it is learned. The more you practice, the better you connect with the Holy Spirit. The more willing you are to learn, the more the Holy Spirit can teach you. If you are someone who says, “I don’t know what to say when I pray”, start by praying the scriptures and let the Holy Spirit lead you.

How do you feel about praying? Why?

Is there a scripture that inspires, motivates, or encourages you?